I Got Really Mad Because The Neighbours Were Noisy

This one time, I went to bed at about 10 on a Friday night and was woken by music playing quite loudly at 11:30pm. I grumbled to myself about how inconsiderate the teenage members of family next door were. I had had a busy week and was very tired.

My sleep over the next couple of hours was frequently interrupted by loud bits in the songs they were playing. Several times I considered getting up and complaining but I didn’t quite get around it.

Finally, at about 1am the music died down.

The next morning at about 6am our hard-of-hearing elderly neighbour started blasting out that mornings tv show from her TV! On my sleep-in morning no less! I could not believe my luck. I considered moving house! I stormed out of bed at about 7:30am to take a leak. I threw open the bedroom door and proceeded to walk down the hall on the way to the toilet when I realised where all this noise had been coming from. I had left my own TV on all night. I must have set it to mute before I went to bed.

It’s a temperamental TV and it must have unmuted itself the previous night. I had been grumbling about my neighbours when it had been my fault all along and I had probably kept them awake all night!

Paperclips Are A Useless Piece Of Stationery

Just last week I purged both my desk at home and at work of the most useless piece of stationery ever evented. The paperclip.

I looked at them in my drawer and suddenly became angry, as I sometimes do when I notice something in my life that I had been blind to until that moment. Somehow I had become accustomed to ignoring the clutter. They had been siting there for 7 years and I hadn’t used even one of them! At that moment I realised they had been cluttering up my life, and it was time for them to go.

For those times that I wanted to attach two or more piece of paper together I used a staple. Make up your damn mind! Do you want the pages to stay together or not? If yes, use a staple. Paper clips are just so damn useless for the purpose for which they were invented.

Ok, ok, I do have one use for them so when I threw them all in the bin last week I kept just one. When you unfold them they can be a quite useful piece of wire for digging into electronics or picking out thistles from lions paws.

Why There Are Always Spiders In The Corners

Don’t you hate it how you take the time to clear out the spiders living in the ceiling corners of the rooms in your house and then 2 days later they are back again??

Well, think about it from a spiders point of view. They are on the lookout for the best real-estate.  Spiders who manage to acquire and retain premium corner locations can construct the best webs and have the best chance of catching food.

Spiders without locations occassionally cruise around looking to upgrade their lot in life and they come accross a corner they you have recently swept clean. They can’t believe their luck! “I can’t believe anyone else has thought to set up here!” They think to themselves. “Look at the view! I will do well here!”

What we should do is post tiny notices of eviction 24 hours before we are going to clean the current residents out. Perhaps we could also encourage the current residents to graphity on the wall warning future residents of the danger…

Foot Spas And Bread Makers

I think the creator behind both the Foot Spa and the Bread Maker is the same person.

He woke up one day and thought “Today I will invent two devices that people will clamor for as gifts for themselves and others, that they will think is a great idea at the time, and yet they will only use once before they end up in the cupboard never to be used again”.

Have you seen how many are on sale on Trademe and eBay?

Thousands!!

Learn the lesson and stay away from these products!

And definately don’t you dare buy me one as a gift…

How To Pick A Trustworthy Mechanic

The simple answer is that they don’t exist.

Lets face it, you go for a warrant, it is their best interest to fail you on something because that way they get more business.

Of course you should go to a independant Vehicle Testing Station for warrants.

I’m an AA member so I’d like to think I can trust a company I partly own (because I’m a member), but at the end of the day, there lies the same incentive.

Damn.

There’s just no getting around it…

I Packed Way Too Much For A High School Camping Trip

This one time, in my last year of high school we went on our end of year camping trip.

I hadn’t been on a camp before where you had to carry all your stuff on your back rather than just pack it into a car. I had no idea what to pack. I borrowed a huge backpack from a family friend and stuffed it full. For the 3 night trip I packed 3 pairs of jeans, 4 towels, 3 pairs of shoes, 5 pairs of undies etc etc. It was damn heavy. We climbed a mountain – Mount Tongariro in the Tongariro National Park, New Zealand.

The hours dragged on, it started to rain, my pack got heavier. We got to the first hut in the dark, we were one of the last teams to arrive.

There was only a freezing mountain stream so I didn’t even wash, so I didn’t use any of my towels during our stay. I didn’t get changed once. I lugged all that crap up a mountain and didn’t even use it! I learnt my lesson and now I have a reputation for packing very very lean.

(Not as bad as my auntie who walked the Milford track carrying one of those hair drying machines that you sit under in a case, when there wasn’t any sockets to plug it into anyway!)